Unnecessary Worry & Unsolicited Advice:
Being a mother has introduced to me to all sorts of new social norms and ideas
1. Worry: I have always been a worrier. As a child, I was cautious. As an adult, I worry about my grandparents aging, my parents and their happiness, my brother’s direction, our financial state…and it goes on. I also tend to worry about offending people and making them happy. All of these things are really a waste of time. And now, with an infant, that “worry” list has probably increased ten-fold. I wake up every day thinking of something that could happen to our baby and things that I don’t want him to do. (Getting lost, forgetting who I am at daycare; feeding him too much or too little; turning the t.v. on; kidnapped by strangers; diseases and sicknesses; riding in cars with stupid teenager friends; drinking too much in college; not wearing his seatbelt – you get the idea).
This is all ridiculous thinking, of course. I know this; yet, I can’t turn off the “worry” thoughts I have. My husband, thankfully, is more of an analytical thinker and researcher. He balances me out; but, we both know this “worrywart” gene is directly from my mother and grandmother, who obsessively worry to the point of unhealthiness. How can I bypass this, especially as a mother? I wish I had the answers.
I workout, pray, and take time out for myself. I remind myself that essentially worrying is a sin of vanity because it means you have lost your faith in God and his plans. How do you deal with the worry that accompanies becoming a mother?
2. Unsolicited Advice: (from family and strangers alike). Thankfully, I escaped the “Hi, I’m a stranger and you’re pregnant, so I’m going to give you stupid advice” for the most part. However, I am now amazed as to what people will say about an infant to his mother! Our sweet boy is a happy, chunky, healthy baby. For this, I am thankful everyday. Now, why is it that people love a chunky baby, but feel the need to say “Oh, when he starts walking all that baby fat will fall off.” Why? He’s 5 months old, a ways away from walking. He’s charming you with his smile and yet, you’re telling me this? Because I’m secretly feeding him pureed Oreos and Mt. Dew. People have a hard time not projecting their own insecurities onto others, especially by way of judging someone’s child through a back handed comment.
Oh, and another? “He’s probably going to be teased a lot because of his name.” Oh yeah, the name that I just explained to you was important to our family because it was his “great-great grandfather’s name. The name that is old fashioned and not quite “in vogue” but is beautiful to us. Gee, thanks lady. However, I plan on raising my child to have self-confidence and tact, unlike you.
Ok, rant for the day is over! (And look for more “fun” posts this week – but, I can’t be the only “I worry about everything – don’t you dare look at my child cross eye mama, right?)