Unecessary Worry & Unsolicited Advice

Unnecessary Worry & Unsolicited Advice:

Being a mother has introduced to me to all sorts of new social norms and ideas
1. Worry: I have always been a worrier.  As a child, I was cautious.  As an adult, I worry about my grandparents aging, my parents and their happiness, my brother’s direction, our financial state…and it goes on.  I also tend to worry about offending people and making them happy.  All of these things are really a waste of time.  And now, with an infant, that “worry” list has probably increased ten-fold.  I wake up every day thinking of something that could happen to our baby and things that I don’t want him to do.  (Getting lost, forgetting who I am at daycare; feeding him too much or too little; turning the t.v. on; kidnapped by strangers; diseases and sicknesses; riding in cars with stupid teenager friends; drinking too much in college; not wearing his seatbelt – you get the idea).

This is all ridiculous thinking, of course.  I know this; yet, I can’t turn off the “worry” thoughts I have.  My husband, thankfully, is more of an analytical thinker and researcher.  He balances me out; but, we both know this “worrywart” gene is directly from my mother and grandmother, who obsessively worry to the point of unhealthiness.  How can I bypass this, especially as a mother? I wish I had the answers.

I workout, pray, and take time out for myself.  I remind myself that essentially worrying is a sin of vanity because it means you have lost your faith in God and his plans.  How do you deal with the worry that accompanies becoming a mother?

2. Unsolicited Advice: (from family and strangers alike).  Thankfully, I escaped the “Hi, I’m a stranger and you’re pregnant, so I’m going to give you stupid advice” for the most part.  However, I am now amazed as to what people will say about an infant to his mother! Our sweet boy is a happy, chunky, healthy baby.  For this, I am thankful everyday. Now, why is it that people love a chunky baby, but feel the need to say “Oh, when he starts walking all that baby fat will fall off.”  Why? He’s 5 months old, a ways away from walking.  He’s charming you with his smile and yet, you’re telling me this? Because I’m secretly feeding him pureed Oreos and Mt. Dew.  People have a hard time not projecting their own insecurities onto others, especially by way of judging someone’s child through a back handed comment.

Oh, and another? “He’s probably going to be teased a lot because of his name.”  Oh yeah, the name that I just explained to you was important to our family because it was his “great-great grandfather’s name.  The name that is old fashioned and not quite “in vogue” but is beautiful to us.  Gee, thanks lady.  However, I plan on raising my child to have self-confidence and tact, unlike you.

Ok, rant for the day is over! (And look for more “fun” posts this week – but, I can’t be the only “I worry about everything – don’t you dare look at my child cross eye mama, right?)

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Filed under baby, motherhood, pregnancy

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